I use water jugs and watermellons to impress kids with the explosive aspects of bullets, stressing what really happens (or what they think happens) when bullets hit objects, as part of their firearms safety training.
But it has no relation to reality.
I like to use the 204 Ruger, its a small bullet traveling fast and will "blow up" water jugs. Not the big bullet the OP mentions, its a 32 gr bullet a hair over 4000 FPS.
Then again, shooting bowling pins at 100 yards is not very effective, it goes right through and hardly moves the pin.
There doesnt appear to be a lot of difference on the jug between the 9mm and 357, but there is a great difference with a burst of fire with hot 9mm.
That's not a very good comparison, why not shoot three fast 357 rounds. Shoot some bowling pins with a 9 mm and 357s, check out the results and come back and tell us the 9mm is more effective.
The only guarantee from any bullet is that you never know what any bullet will do. Chances are no two exact bullets will react the same way when fired from the same gun, into the same target.
What does matter is the shooters ability to shoot a given gun. Recoil makes a big difference.
It doesn't take a lot of recoil either, take International Rapid Fire Pistol
If I remember right you have 7 seconds to shoot five targets, then 5 seconds to shoot five targets, and then 3 seconds to shoot five targets.
This is normally shot with 22s. Even then recoil matters, there is a huge difference between 22 LR and 22 shorts.
Point being, stop worrying about internet videos, shooting water jugs, phone books etc.
Pick a round that you can shoot, a little gun you can shoot beats the heck out of a big gun you can't shoot.
Rifles for home defense????
Try this, find out how your house is made, then go to a construction sight and get some scraps that matches your homes construction as close as possible.
Build you an frame, using 2X4s (or what ever framing your house has) paneling or sheet rock on one side, siding on the other. Fill it with the same insulation you have, and shoot it with varying guns, rifles, pistols, etc.
You're going to be surprised what happens. Think about your results before you decide to fire off some rifle rounds in your house.