I think the 4" blued Ruger GP is an excellent house gun. Lots of ammo choices for home defense, ranging from standard pressure .38 Specials to the hottest Magnums. Your choice will depend somewhat on your own proficiency and comfort level with the round, while also considering the layout of your house and any other people in the area.
As for a carry revolver, definitely look at the Ruger LCR. The .38 Special model is less than 14-oz and the .357 model is under 18-oz.
The J-frame S&W carry guns range from about 21-oz for the steel framed M60, to about 11-oz for the expensive scandium and titanium models. The reasonably-priced alloy framed 642 and 442 is about 15-oz and a good compromise between carry weight and recoil control.