1. Could you live with yourself if you shot and innocent or you didn't save someone?
Excuse me but this is a meaningless cliche. Do you mean that you couldn't handle the psychological consequences?
a. We have folks going through significantly more horror and with support and therapy - they get through it.
b. Are you just afraid of public opinion? Suck it up on that and do what's right in your mind.
2. If I act to save your wife and get killed, do you pledge to support mine for the rest of her life? I always ask that.
I've studied the literature on this and there is NO correct answer. Do you live a life of poverty to give your salary to the deserving poor?
Or is it the idea of being a gun toting hero that is attractive as compared to the other altruistic things you could be doing now.
My point is that the motivations (emotional) and rational analyses are very complex and there is no simple moral clarity.