I don't know who said anything about large bore revolvers. I don't even have any experience with that. Biggest I've shot is a .40 in a compact polymer and while I'd do a .45 a .44 magnum would scare me too. She did, however, mention that she likes revolvers.
We had a talk today and I don't know if it's something she'll get comfortable with. I think anyone could be but she's just got an intense phobia and doesn't feel comfortable taking that leap. I'm not going to force that first interaction because I don't believe someone can learn something like gun safety without choosing to do so. She was anxious and hesitant when we talked about target shooting (without giving an answer one way or the other) but made it clear that she would never want the responsibility of shooting at somebody and that carrying or even using a gun in the event of a bad situation isn't something she's willing to do. I wish it wasn't that way but I'm a strong believer that anybody who isn't ready to shoot a gun should not be carrying one and I'm glad she can at least make that call.
I made the offer today that if she wants to take a class I'll pay for it and if she ends up liking it I'll buy a revolver that she can shoot with. I'd keep it but eventually give it to her if she got comfortable.
I don't know if it's something that's going to happen but I do think that, given she's willing to work with me, I'm going to get some snap caps or something and teach her how to clear and safe my gun since it's going to be in her proximity so much. Maybe later on she'll feel more able and willing to try. I've got a couple of months until it becomes a problem but I told her to think on it and let me know if she decides to take me up on the offer.