I'd take another look at the instructions, or find a YouTube video demonstration ... I have an XDm-9 and an XDs and both are the easiest guns I own to take down and reassemble for cleaning ... now if you want a gun that's hard, get one of the Kimber Ultra series or a Ruger 22lr ... those puppies will have you tearing out your hair .... well, if I had any hair ...
"The gun has been called the great equalizer ... It insures that the people are the equal of their government whenever that government forgets that it is servant and not master of the governed." --Ronald Reagan