I recently got a chance to shoot a co-workers scoped 7.5" SRH IN .454 with a near max loaded 300gr XTP. I also had my 4.2" Redhawk in .45 Colt loaded with a max load of 2400 under a .45 270SAA boolit. IMHO The recoil of the two guns wasn't that much different or too much to handle. We fired my loads in both guns and there wasn't any real difference in recoil.
All that to lead up to, there was a big difference in the effect of the .454 on the steel targets at 20 yards. I still want to try some 340-360 gr boolits out of my Redhawk but the .454 is impressive.
I also got a chance to fire a friends .44 Alaskan and found recoil to be much worse than my .44 Mountain Gun with similar loads.
For general packin' I prefer my Redhawk, in the OP's situation I'd think a custom SRH with the barrel bobbed to 4 - 5" might be a good thing.