Does it have to be small ?? If not, take a look at the PX4 - Beretta and some of the Sigs and the CZ75.
The PX4 full size, compact and sub-compact all have decockers. Which will let down the hammer without firing it while engaging the safety. Sounds like this one may work to develop some reassurance it isn't going to shoot even if you have one chambered. The PX4 sub-compact , seems wide to some people, but it for some reason is very easy to conceal and carry.