Everything Old Grump said. Leave a few laying around in places where idle time occurs, the car, in front of TV, kitchen table, !bathroom!.... A month or so of that will help both with the fatigue and your perception of the recoil. (Had to hide them from the dog, she loved them.
The P95 is a good value. With my own very small hands, it is not the most comfortable choice. Adding a Hogue handall grip to it made it even fatter, but also easier to grip firmly. Without the hogue grip it was not comfortable, mostly because it felt "slippery" rather than its too-large size. (google "Hogue handall", it is a rubber sleeve that slides over the hand grip.)
The best "fit" I have found for my small hand so far has been the Walther PPQ. The pricing on the PPQ is high, but I'm looking forward to trying out their new PPX. The pricing on the new PPX is supposed to be in the $400 range. Not sure either of those would qualify as a duty gun.
If you have a reliable gun store nearby, you might also consider a used S&W 6906. That is comparable in price to a new P95. The 6906 grip is a lot more comfortable to my small hand. There are currently a lot of LEO S&W trade-ins on the used market, and probably lots in service still. Its spring is a bit stiffer than the P95, and a bit more difficult to rack the slide. A good gun store that handles used guns will find you a good condition gun. They may even have several in the store, they seem to be plentiful right now. In good condition it is a really good value buy, high quality and reliable. (Has a magazine safety, will not fire without the magazine in place.)
Maybe find a range that rents pistols so you can get a hands-on opinion? Start with the ones that grip best.
Sooner or later one manufacturer will realize you ladies are the fastest growing segment of their potential future market$, and introduce a line with ergonomics designed specifically for the target. Almost there, but not quite there yet.