I also have kids, and also keep my gun in a nonovault when it's not on me.
However, I do keep a round in the chamber in both my XDs and my PPQ. I find - for me - knowing that there's a round in the chamber makes me always treat them like there's one in the chamber. I had a scary experience with a gun that I "knew" was unloaded a couple years ago, and this seems to work.
si vis pacem para bellum