i have all three calibers, 9mm, 40SW, 45acp, and shot all of them yesterday.
9mm out of a 92F, very mild recoil
40SW out of a SW40VE, snappy recoil due to light weight of gun
45acp out of a 1911, recoil between the two above, due to mass of gun.
all things considered, a 1911 commander is my favorite for carry.