I agree 1000+% with getting her "The Cornered Cat" book. It's been almost like my Bible.
I agree that gender shouldn't be an issue. Education and time with the weapon in hand and on the range is priceless.
I thought I would prefer a .380 as my carry piece until I actually had one and kept it for roughly a month. It was too small for my hand and I didn't care for the long trigger pull.
I now have my DB 9mm that absolutely fits me much better than the smaller .380.
Regarding recoil, shooting the CAR method removes any recoil issue for me.
NRA Certified Pistol Instructor, Home Firearm Safety Instructor, & RSO
On the range again, just can't wait to get on the range again. The life I love is shooting guns with my friends, and I can't wait to get on the range again!