The "segway" part is hilarious.
I saw a mall security guard on one of those things, and I told my wife "I bet in his mind he's singing "Born to be Wild" as he putts along.
"Necessity is the plea for every infringement of human freedom. It is the argument of tyrants; it is the creed of slaves." William Pitt, speech to the House of Commons, [Nov. 18, 1783]