I don't have a whole lot of experience with all of those calibers, but I would say there is not much difference in a .40 or .45 in the same gun in terms of power. There is in the geometry of the kick though.
Have you looked into a .357 SIG round? You may look into a gun with easily interchangeable calibers like a Sig Sauer.
"When a strong man, fully armed, guards his own palace, his goods are safe."