Goldenpawzmom, welcome to TFL. I'm always happy to see another woman on the board.
One of the first things you should do is visit the website, Cornered Cat
. It's run by our own pax
(Kathy Jackson), who's one of the moderators here. It's for women, by a woman, and has great info that will answer many of your questions (and confirm your instinct that it's better to get professional instruction than to rely on your husband for training
Also, she's located in Washington state, teaches there (classes just
for women), and can for sure recommend good instructors if you can't make it to one of classes. And don't be afraid to PM her with any questions...