[Dr Big Bird PhD]

I don't know if I'd call it "sad" per se, but I would agree entirely with the rest of your analysis of her.

She is the the most ironically dogmatic person that ever existed. (Mind you I said "ironically dogmatic" not dogmatic, but she's still up there nonetheless)

edit:

Metaphysical materialism is the concept that material objects and phenomena enjoy existence independent of perception and comprise the entirety of reality.

Here is the central issue I believe. I don't understand how one can assert that something doesn't necessarily exist independent of perception. Is this not a very eloquent way of agreeing with Descartes and saying "I think therefore I am, but I can't prove anything else". You're just playing into the camp of ultimate uncertainty and subjectivity.