I think the whole thing actualy varies not only by state, but also by district in some states.
I know someone that used hand loaded ammo in a self defense shooting. The bad guy was pronounced dead at the scene. (In fact he was dead on the spot where hit.) It was a justified shooting. He had to surrender his gun till the grand jury hearing. Facts of the case were presented. It was deemed justified. His gun, and the remaining ammo that was in were returned to him. (Ammo was in a sealed shipping package type envelope.)
If one is justified in this state in use of force. Then they are waived of civil liability from the person they used force on, and/or that person's family/estate. Not every state has the same law.
Ok enough thread jacking. Most 9mm hollow points will expand well at standard velocity, and give good penetration. If one were loading them to mimic self defense loads I would suggest working up to the load you shoot the best.
No matter how many times you do it and nothing happens it only takes something going wrong one time to kill you.