NYC Assault Knife Ban!
I noticed in Bloombergsville where they want to ban everything from soda to guns to super sized fast food, there were four murders in NYC New Years Eve. All were by Assault Knives. You know, the sharp ones, not one suppressed butter knife in the bunch. We need to stop issuing cutlery to everyone, immediately!
We don't have to worry about baseball bats though. Most of the people in the Queens section where the murders occurred are loyal Mets fans. We know they can't hit anything anyway.
(apologies to those of you who are Mets fans.)
The liberties of our country, the freedoms of our civil Constitution are worth defending at all hazards; it is our duty to defend them against all attacks. ~ Samuel Adams ~