i'm really looking for something my GF, 5'1 and 100 lbs of her will carry and shoot. she likes the simplicity of a revolver, but doesn't like shooting even standard load 38 spcl. she has an LCR, likes the light weight that comes with it but not the recoil that goes along with the reduced weight. so if i have to water down some loads to reduce the recoil, then i want to make up for the (lack of)velocity with a bullet that will still do the best job.
If your primary concern is very light recoil for practice shooting, then you want to lighten the bullet weight to reduce the recoil as much as possible. I use 125 grain cast bullets that are intended for 9mm shooting, albeit sized to .357 for such shooting.
No matter how light of a powder charge (2.7 Bullseye) you put under a 148 grain wadcutter, it will recoil noticeable more than 2.7 grains of Bullseye under a 125 grain cast bullet. I use that load for most of my double action shooting.
If she is going to carry for defense, when she is comfortable shooting the light loads she can carry something that would perform better in that capacity.