So, this is my SA. . .Tell me if it sounds like yours. I live in a normally secure neighborhood . . .which is secure because the whole community is roughly the same income level and we have a fine Police force. Still, there is no active security of my home, except me.
At the time bad things would happen, normally I'm in bed. I would likely be wearing a shirt and PJ pants or a shirt and undies. Sorry for the visual.
So, here are my HD specs. I need something which I can grab and go with 2 hands and have a gun, light and ~25 rounds of 40 S&W or 45 Auto. The gun should be ambidextrous and usable by anyone in the house who is trained. The gun should be of the universal pick up and shoot type. A 1911 is not the best here as some people in my house will always be less trained. Pull trigger = bang is simple and reenforced on family shooting day. The trouble with DA/SA and thumb safety guns is that they usually are not used in DA or with the safety up during family shooting day type range time. If a shooter has small hands in your castle, find a gun which they can use in a pinch also. Find a gun which at least the primary shooter can deliver VERY fast fire with paper plate accuracy to 10 yards.
So, I use an XD 40. I have a paddle holster, but it really doesn't clip onto undies or pj's well. It has a weapon light and I also keep a spare mag ready to go. Night sights are good too. I have TFO's but ideally would like something smaller that fills the front dovetail. I also have a Glock 21, but it needs to be run through it's paces and the wife and needs to be qualified on it.
Ever let non-shooters plink with your autos? Do they ever jam? This is a pretty good reason to think revolver. Basically, they never jam. . .IME.