I have never ever heard anyone say "This recoil pad is too soft and reduces recoil too much." I think the shooting shirt/vest isn't the best idea as it is sort of a pain. A good pad on the rifle is always there.
I use the slip-on Kick-Eez pads on a few hunting shotguns. I would not use them on a rifle as they do not fit that tightly and are not stable. There are glue on options and more expensive ones that tie on and such.
won't have much recoil as they are hefty and semi-auto. You said you weren't going to skimp...