cogito First let your wife deside on what she wants. Not you . Carry'n a handgun unchambered makes it a rock, a costly rock but thats what it is if needed.
You are try'n to cover to many wants and wishs in a handgun even desreguarding who its for.
Find a female instructor or avid female shooter to help your wife or a male that is use to working with ladies. small soft lady's have to learn a diffeent way to rack a slide than most us guys do. With the right help of just another season female shooter she may find the bersa becomes real easy to master. The man of the house many time is the worse person to help there better half.