125 gr for urban carry. 158 gr or larger for woods carry.
I wouldn't use the .357 magnum round for self-defense inside the home. Firing any round indoors magnifies the sound and the potential for hearing loss, but this is particularly true with large caliber magnum rounds. It is not even long term hearing loss that concerns me. It is during the short term, right after the blast, that you may not be able to hear anything. You may not be able to hear the voice of a loved one or the sound of; "police, put your weapon down." I want to be able to use all of my senses during a home self-defense incident.
The larger caliber magnum handgun rounds have their place and purposes, but IMHO, not for inside the home. If I use a handgun for home defense, I choose 9 MM or .45 ACP.