Don't worry about it. I've gotten in trouble a number of times. You're right that sarcasm and text aren't good friends.
To your question, that's a fine list of guns. My advice is this: decide on a trigger system first to narrow the field. You have a list with both DA/SA (double action/sing action) hammer fired and safe-action striker fired pistols. Both designs are good and have their pluses and minuses. Try and figure which you like better and that will be the biggest help.
Know the status of your weapon
Keep your muzzle oriented so that no one will be hurt if the firearm discharges
Keep your finger off the trigger until you have an adequate sight picture
Maintain situational awareness