My Favorite load is 110 grain Hornady over H110. They are fun to shoot from my Coonan.
But I dont carry hand loaded ammo. I go with Buffalo bore Tactical low recoil/flash 125 grain ammo in my J-frame.
When I carry my Coonan (shoulder holster and yes I do on occasion) I stoke it with the high velocity 125 grain buffalo bore. It clock in about 1800 FPS and 900 foot pounds.
Shot placement is everything! I would rather take a round of 50BMG to the foot than a 22short to the base of the skull.
all 26 of my guns are 45/70 govt, 357 mag, 22 or 12 ga... I believe in keeping it simple. Wish my wife did as well...