The best advice I can give is to just load it one day and promise yourself you'll leave it that way for at least 48 hours. I'm guessing that by the end of that period your anxiety will have diminished substantially. That's my best idea. Others on here may have other ways that have worked for them or someone they know.
I consider those who cause innocent people to be defenseless through advocating and enacting "gun control measures" to be murderers by proxy.