Thanks everyone for your replies! TailGator, I didn't think you grumpy at all, and appreciate you sharing things I should be mindful of.
NJ is pretty strict, and there aren't a lot of ranges around. I traveled to PA a few weeks ago and was tempted to move on the spot based on the number of ranges I passed along one road. I'm not sure on the hollowpoints but I do know the round limit is 15 rounds/mag in NJ
I think I'm dropping the revolver to the bottom of my list. It's a sweet gun, but the capacity is only 5 rounds and I think I'd prefer a semi-auto anyway.
As far as 9mm vs .45acp, it is comforting to note that most of you don't think it really matters in terms of performance all that much. Interestingly, there are a lot of anti-9mm people out there who all say to stay away from 9mm because of overpenetration, and less knockdown power. I feel better about going with a 9mm after reading your responses.
What I've handled: Not much. Years ago I shot some 9s but I don't remember what was what. I recently shot a 22mag revolver, but that's not even on the board. Unfortunately the ranges around here are bring your own only. Maybe I can track one down in NJ that lets you try different handguns. I'd prefer to try them as well.
Short of shooting them, I think I'm leaning towards a CZ 75DB. I like the idea of a decocker. Glocks have always bothered me with the though of the only safety being the trigger itself. CZ makes the big bore version of the 75, called the CZ 97B. I'd be curious if anyone has shot both and if you think the big bore would be too much for me since I'm just starting out.
No comments on 1911s. If anyone has any thoughts, I'd appreciate it since if I got a 45acp, I might get a 1911 style.