I am very sorry for your loss.
However, this is not a question that is appropriate for our forum nor for the internet in general. You need professional assistance, whether it be lawyer, private investigators, police or all of the above.
I sincerely hope you get the assistance you need, but this is not the place.
Still happily answering to the call-sign Peetza.
The problem, as you so eloquently put it, is choice.
He is no fool who gives what he can not keep to gain what he can not lose.
-Jim Eliott, paraphrasing Philip Henry.