9mm, . . . I think part of the conversation deals with the fact that they cannot be the same weight, . . . by their own inherent design.
The 9mm can be loaded down if I remember correctly to about 90 grains or 115, . . . but the .44 and .45 can be boosted up to almost 300 grains, . . . and that most definitely WILL make a difference.
Using a 125 grain round nose ball ammo (FMJ) out of a hot .357 will most likely just put a .357 hole clear through the person if it does not hit a bone.
OTOH, . . . a 275 grain soft lead hollow point coming out of a .44 or .45 at about 750 ft per second, . . . the wound channel would closely resemble the grand canyon.
But, . . . it's all academic if the shooter can't hit the target. That's the important part.
May God bless,
If you can breathe, . . . thank God!
If you can read, . . . thank a teacher!
If you are reading this in English, . . . thank a Veteran!