Oh and about your wife's fears...
Educate her about firearms and also educate your kids.
I've got kids in my house at ages 6mos, 3, 4, 8 and 14.
All of my kids (aside from the baby) know where my firearms are and I DO keep some firearms loaded and easily accessible. My kids also know what could happen if they're played with. As such they don't touch my guns.
My 4 yr old is being taught how to shoot and she enjoys blowing up plastic water bottles with the youth .22 rifle. My 8 yr old has been shooting rifles for 4 yrs and is now learning how to shoot a handgun well. My 14 yr old has already been shooting for 10 years, regularly pulls down low 20's in trap shoots and is frothing at the mouth for gun deer season (which is still over 2 months away).
I'm pretty confident that my kids won't be the ones that shoot themselves or their friends because they were playing with my guns.
My wife came from a very liberal anti-gun family. She still gets flak from her family because she CCWs. When we first got married she was so ignorant of firearms and so afraid of them she thought that an unloaded handgun sitting on the table while I cleaned it would somehow load itself, cock itself and turn to her and shoot her. No joke or exaggeration there - she told me she knew it was irrational but that's the kind of fear her parents had taught her of guns. Even just being NEAR a gun is dangerous and the gun (not the user) would shoot you and kill you. Now I find myself with the problem of my wife wanting her own 1911 for EDC (which she happens to want outfitted EXACTLY like mine) and at the moment I can't afford to do that so she keeps stealing my EDC to go to the range with...
This is who we are, what we do.