I find today's views of marriage disturbing. Marriage is a consenting union between two adults, not a subjugation of one or the other. When I decided to get my ccw I asked her thoughts and concerns and learned her boundaries. I most certainly did not ask permission nor should I. Neither she nor I need permission from one another to do anything. As we have a good understanding of each other we consult each other and make better decisions based on those discussions. Pax, I believe, has the right idea. A mature open discourse on the subject is the only viable way to resolve the issue. Deceit in any way shape or form is the sure path to long term conflicts.