Thanks for the history and personal stories.
Although most people in the country, who are not of Southern heritage, don't know it and don't care, but the "hard feeling" about the war continued throughout the 20th century. My mother is 82, still talks about how her family lost their property in Georgia during "the war" and is still not happy about it. And she's not talking Vietnam war here either. The feelings were very strong in the early 20th century, as the fathers who fought that war began to pass away. It's when most of the monuments were put up.
So the late 19th century "feelings' could certainly have ended in bloodshed when the actual people who fought went back home.