Mine is simple.
Marinate in 50/50 mix of Italian dressing and A1 sauce for at least 24 hours. Maybe add a little liquid smoke.
Still happily answering to the call-sign Peetza.
The problem, as you so eloquently put it, is choice.
He is no fool who gives what he can not keep to gain what he can not lose.
-Jim Eliott, paraphrasing Philip Henry.