A short follow up
After getting nowhere with EAA, I contacted the vendor where I purchased the gun and explained everything to them. They said that they don't normally allow returns but would make an exception in my case since the gun was brand new and unusable. It is currently in transit. I'll chalk up my shipping costs and FFL fees as a learning curve loss--one that I'll hopefully come out a little wiser from.
Thanks for the supportive posts and comments.
I want at least one of everything