Very few 9mm's will allow you to get that close to the rifling without exceeding max length for the magazine.
The only one that I've been able to come that close to the lands with is my CZ 75B, and that's only with cone shape bullets like the XTP/HAP.
My match FMJ's in the CZ are at least .050" away from the lands, and are every bit as accurate as the XTP/HAP at .010" away.
Yes, deep seating bullets in the 9mm causes pressure increases faster than other cartridges because it's such a short case. If you're loading shorter than the data calls for, start low and work up carefully.
Primers are not a good indicator of pressure. There's a good article on that in the current issue of Handloader magazine. Case bulging at the feed ramp will probably tell you more, but is still not an accurate gauge. Truth is there's no way to be sure, so stick with published data.
IME, you'll have better luck finding the accuracy you want by trying different bullets.
FWIW, my current favorite is the Winchester hollow base 115 FMJ. Superbly accurate in my CZ.