Howdy! I would suggest you choose the .243. Almost every brand is chambered for this round, so it will be easy to find a rifle you like at your LGS!
As for recoil, the .243 is the ticket. My 12 year old daughter can handle it enough to get her sighted in every year, then she never even feels it when she shoots her pronghorn.
I killed a cow elk with mine this year, so it is definatly enough gun for any whitetail.
IMHO the .243 is THE BEST BEGINNERS RIFLE CARTRIDGE AROUND!