I am not informed enough to give good answers to this topic. But this topic is very important to me as well (we are thinking about designing our own home). Just won't be anything as big or fancy as yours. Can I come and live with you?
a. To me, a safe room is a fortified area within the house that we retreat to in the event of a break-in.
b. I think the best place for a safe room is one with limited access. Rooms with only one door are ideal. Defend the bottleneck.
c. Yes, I think separate saferooms are fine if the floorplans are such that it is a safer alternative to running out getting the kids. However, multiple saferooms are best used when all other options have been exhausted. I mean, wouldn't it be nerve-wracking if you are bunkered in one room, and can't see whether your kids are safe or not in another?
d. Armor plates between the dry walls? I don't know how this would be done, or if it's even financially feasible. Even a ballistic shield is rather pricey. But then, this is coming from someone who is finanically-challenged....
Most entries will most likely be made simply through the door anyway. Fortify them with longer screws, bolt locks, and foot stomps.
e. I think it is desirable to have a window in the safe room. They provide an emergency escape if your safe room is breached. And as you have mentioned, when the police arrives, they'll also want to have visual and physical access to you.
The only problem is that windows work both ways for the criminals as well. They need to be defended like a bottleneck. Ideally, you would want a safe room where both the window and door are next to each other, not on the opposite sides of the room, so it would be easier to keep an eye on both. Keeping an eye on two points of entry should keep most anyone more than occupied.
f. Quick access to locked firearms and sturdy flashlight for the obvious. An interesting suggestion by Bob Kasper: Install a large OC fogger near the foot of the door. In the event of attempted entry through the door, you can saturate the other side with chemical irritant.
g. I believe this would be good so long as it does not jeopardize our own personal safety. If it is even remotely unsafe, we should forego the option. A much better idea is a video surveillance system. A few small cameras and a monitor is all we need.