Some other points to consider...
How often are you willing train and condition yourself?
-If you realistically will not train frequently with your chosen arm, than I would recommend going for a simple "point and press" arm so you don't have to worry about thumb safeties or grip safeties.
-Springer XD series, Smith M&P series both come in compact models, and have been tested and approved for use by LEO agencies across the land.
Bottom line: Manual and grip safeties can be challenging to operate under stress without frequent training and conditioning. Point and press weapons alleviate this potential issue.
Will you realistically be discouraged by weight?
-Some folks lack the intestinal fortitude to adapt to certain handguns due to weight issues.
-A .380 carried every day is better than a .45 left at home because it's "too heavy".
Bottom line: Get something you are willing to carry EVERY day and EVERYWHERE you legally can, even if it's a .380.
Are you willing to modify your wardrobe to accommodate your gun?
-There isn't a defensive gun on the market that can't be carried concealed with the right wardrobe, be it casual or formal attire.
-Some folks aren't willing to buy larger clothes, lose weight, or adjust their style to accommodate their arm of choice.
Bottom line: Buy a gun you can conceal with the wardrobe of your choice.
Stopping threats is the goal of the armed citizen. Threats are stopped in 1 of 2 ways: 1.) The mental stop, and 2.) The physical stop.
Mental stops occur because the threat recognizes the firearm and does NOT want to get shot, so they stop their threat and either surrender or attempt to evade. Mental stops also occur due to a threat being shot, and in their desire NOT to be shot AGAIN, they stop their action and either surrender or attempt to evade despite the fact they are still capable of physically continuing their threatening action. This is the most common type of defensive stop.
ALL firearms, regardless of size or caliber, have the potential to achieve a mental stop.
Physical stops occur because the threat is physically damaged to such a degree that they can no longer physically continue their threatening action. Death, unconsciousness, or significant skeletal structural damage are examples of a physical stop.
ALL firearms, regardless of size or caliber, have the potential to achieve a physical stop. HOWEVER, the more powerful the firearm, the greater the POTENTIAL to rapidly achieve a physical stop.
Good luck with your decision.