Rattle Can it Baby!
If you want a low maintenance finish get some rattle can stone chip paint from Wal-mart.
My $50 H&R single shot 12 gauge truck gun is was done this way. It works great and grips really well. If it gets scraped, a shot of paint is all it take to restore its glory!
The crack can be easly fix with Gorilla glue before painting.
Superman, you are a mean drunk