"Unintended Consequences" by John Ross.
While fiction, it does contain some very interesting viewpoints. In it, one of the characters is asked aquestion very similar to the one you are asking. "How do you know when it is time....?"
The answer given likens the situation to one where you meet a nice man, and get in the van with him. Things seem to be going well enough, until he gets out a set of handcuff, and asks you to wear them, for your "safety".
That is the time to resist. When the handcuffs come out. NOT after you put them on.
The trick, of course, is to recognise the handcuffs for what they are. Even if they have a cute fur cover on them.
I can't give you a definate answer of when that time is, only that it is not today. Tomorrow things may be different. I don't see any handcuffs yet. But there is something glinting in the distant light.
Welcome to the board, and enjoy!
All else being equal (and it almost never is) bigger bullets tend to work better.