...mods tend to pull he trigger a little more often when their own chains are being pulled,
Maybe in other forums, but on TFL both Al and I tend to be more lenient with the people we disagree with so we don't appear to be biased. Unfortunately, this inevitably leads to our ideological comrades being angry at us for allowing incoming invective while prohibiting outgoing.
The biggest headache for me in the past eight years as a moderator is veiled insults, borderline personal attacks and closed minds. The first two are very difficult to address because it is a judgment call every time and I strive to be fair. The last headache amounts to two people in a room yelling "IS NOT!" "IS SO!" "IS NOT!" "IS SO!" over and over and over and over... Nobody is listening, nobody has an open mind, nobody even considers that the other person might have a point.
It comes down to a general lack of respect. And that, is a very difficult trait to instill into adults who are convinced that they're right.