Quite honestly? Things that go bump in the night are of no particular concern to me; I'd just roll over and go back to sleep. If it's something really important the Pit Bulldog at the foot of the bed will let us know.
Trust me! There are better things for someone to do with the remainder of his life than trying to wander around our home in the dark. As far as I'm concerned, coming here uninvited late at night would be, well, better than an old fashioned coon hunt: plenty of guns, lights, growls 'n noise, and someone running for a tree. We'd, all, have us a regular country hoedown; and, the critters would eat good in the morning!
Next hypothetical situation, please, ....
