I have been reliably informed that none of the countries through which you would be passing have prisons that might be confused with a five-star hotel.
Of course, if you decide to try packing heat on your trip, you can probably let me know if that information is correct. If I am still around when you get out.
Frankly, I have no idea why you would want to go through the trouble and hassle of driving down. I hope you at least speak good Spanish and have some local help available if you get in trouble.