Pax...My wife has somewhat small hands (sorry I don't know her glove size) and is recoil sensitive and so far likes to shoot my KT P-32, she would rate it an A border line B. Good one on the 50 round cleaning comment, I love the little gun , but it is fincky. She loves the feel of my S&W J frame snubbies but hates the recoil, even with my heavy all steel model 60 shooting Federal low recoil rounds. The Beretta M9 and my Taurus PT-92 is just too big for her hands, and she dislikes the recoil, but she likes shooting our Beretta Cheetah, a smaller single stack version (there are thicker double stack models) of the M9 that shoots .380. It fits her hands well and while it still has some pop, she is OK with.She would rank it a low B. She love the Cheetah, but hates the first DA pull (she been cocking the hammer back with her thumb to avoid it) , and I'm concern about the manual safety if she needed it in a defensive situation.
I am still hunting for the perfect pistol for her. The things you said about the Glock 26 and XD compact seem promising.