My brother-in-law has a 3" SW629 'Mountain gun' that he keeps loaded with CCI Blazer .44 Spl 200gr JHPs. This bullet is the 'Flying Ashtray' round for the .44. I don't see how you could go wrong with these for home defense. They feel like .38 wadcutters in his 'lightweight' big gun. (BTW, he's had the gun since before the current crop of 5-shot .44Spls became commonplace)
As a caveat, I would NOT recommend ANY handload for home defense. The bottomfeeders
would have a field day with your 'especially lethal homemade ammunition.'
Remember, just because you are not paranoid doesn't mean they are not out to get you!