Well, I sleep with my guns cocked and loaded, one in each hand and one on each side of my head. Every single light in the house is on, my stereo blasts that crazy heavy metal stuff (so people think that I am not only home, but awake), I also glue my fingers to the triggers and I tape my eyelids open...that way I will always be ready for something!!
I liked the part about the claymore mines best. I used to do that a while back, but had to get rid of them. One night I got drunk, and forgot about the mines under the carpet, and blew both of my damn legs off.