When I say "I am going to use it" what I mean is "I am READY to use it".
Simply, I am not afraid to pull the trigger if need be. If the situation is resolved by the draw, then so be it. But if the BG makes an advance or I feel threatend by his movements, I know my finger won't hesitate to make decisions.
It's not that I want to kill, I am merely prepared to do so.