One night two years ago I was up late on the computer when I heard screaming & crying next door. I went outside & saw my neighbor arguing with her boyfriend. I couldn't be sure he'd been beating her, but it had sure sounded like it. I loudly asked "Are you okay?"
He said yes & she said no, crying. (Why do women tolerate men who beat them?) So tough guy heads towards me, tripping & stumbling in a heap before me, the drunken fool. He's talking smack & taking swings at me, but can't land anything on me. I kept telling him, "We're not going to fight," but he's totally determined. At some point I'd had enough of being pushed backwards by this lummox, (about my height, but heavier & much less intelligent,) so I took off my jacket & put up my dukes.
So now this coward (as is any man who beats on a woman) runs back & grabs a 2x4. Never having trained against a club-wielding attacker, I retreated back into my house, locked the door & called the cops. Yep, dude, just like your girlfriend was trying to communicate to you, you're going *back* to jail. See ya.