Raccoon routs Rebels
Early in the Late Great Unpleasantry Between States or the Mother of American Family Feuds, two Rebs were out camping and chanced upon a deer which they promptly killed. Desiring to take it back to share with their comrades, they tied it to a pole and were about to carry it back when a piece of bark struck the ground. Looking up, they saw a coon. The Lt. in charge (there were only two Rebs involved) suggested capturing it and releasing in the barn where the boys slept. Well, the first coon in the tree turned out to be too big for one man to capture in a blanket but by the third coon (they brained second with a stick), they were successful. Note: spelling & other errors are the authors.
"Ike caught the coon by the back of the neck and the hind legs and after having untied him, carried it up to the house, slipped it in and closed the door hitching the chain over the staple, then sat down on the step to await developments. Pretty soon one of the boys, Sam Bane said to Uriah Lease, 'Uriah, Uriah, what is it climbing over me. Uriah there is some kind of an animal in here and I believe it's a pole cat.' Then there was a general scramble. In a very short time the boys were all perched up on the joist holding consultation as to what it was and how it got in, the door being shut. Sam Bane declared in very emphatic language that it was fast on the outside as he had tried to get it open and couldn't. 'Well boys,' said the Colonel, who was almost dying from laughter, 'we must have a light, who has a match.' All seemed to have but they were all below and no know would volunteer to get them. Day was beginning to break in the east. We quietly slipped the chain from the staple and then ran to the boat and shoved out to a large rock in the river to await further developments as soon as it became light enough. They discovered the little coon 'scrooched' up in a corner. Then some roared with laughter and some roared with anger and swore vengeance against Parsons and Blue. We were soon discovered and dire threats were made as to what our fate would be when they got us though most of the boys took it as a joke and laughed at those who did not see in that light, when we told them he had a deer and they wouldn't get any of it unless they promised not to molest us. But they did not believe that we had a deer. Finally they agreed if we had a deer we could land without being disturbed, but if we had no deer then we must submit to a thorough ducking. So we pushed ashore, we had the deer, they settled the matter though we had to tell the boys all about the coon hunt. We soon had our deer dressed and frying for breakfast."
Vigilantibus et non dormientibus jura subveniunt. Molon Labe!