A Confederate cavalry officer had set up camp in an area protected by deep streams and heavy brush. He wanted a defensible location that wasn't easily accessible. He balked when he received the order that his company would be inspected. He and his men had little desire to clear the brush, line up the tents in orderly fashion and lay everything out per regulation.
He turned to his lieutenant and told him that he would escort the inspecting officers to the camp. It was clear to the lieutenant that he wasn't enthusiastic and the lieutenant was unsure about his orders. In frustration, the good captain ordered, "Drown 'em on the way here." Off rode the lieutenant and many many hours later he returned. The lieutenant was wet to the skin and covered with mud. In fact, all the horses and the wagon that the inspectors were riding in were wet and covered with mud. The inspectors were visibly shaking from cold when they dismounted their perch.
The captain strode up to them, smiled and threw a regulation salute and welcomed them to his camp. The inspectors complained about how he had set up his camp in the most inaccessible location that was surrounded by rivers that could barely be forded. Predictably, when they left, they were still unhappy campers.
The captain went to the lieutenant and asked him what happened. The lieutenant explained that he had taken them through the most difficult roads (if the paths could be called that) and through the deepest streams he could think of. The captain stared in disbelief and asked why. The lieutenant reminded him of the order to drown the inspectors and said that he had tried his best but had failed.