I can honestly say I don't know how many firearms I own.
Lol - me neither - there was a thread on TFL a few years back about "Anyone ever forgotten about a gun they owned" and there were some funny responses about guns turning up to people's surprise.
In response to the initial question, what iamkris said! My oh my things have gone downhill since Schoolhouse Rock went off the air.
P.S. Do your other 2 sons feel slighted by your choice of forum name?